Do these words ever come out of your mouth? “He made me do that”? Or, “She made me feel guilty”? Or, “I was forced to say what I said because of someone else?”
If you answered yes to any of the above questions, do you ever feel that another person is the reason that you react the way you do? Do you excuse your own behavior by placing the blame on anyone and anything except yourself?
I believe most of us have the ability to control two things with regard to our own behavior. What goes in and what comes out of our mouths.
For the past several years I have been in a situation where I have needed to deal with someone who does not share many of my values nor my way of handling challenges and commitments. Because of this I have, on more occasions than I would care to admit, found myself saying things that I normally just wouldn’t say.
It doesn’t matter the circumstances. It doesn’t matter what my frustrations and disappointments are. What does matter is that I allowed another person to affect who I am. And that is NOT okay with me.
I want to share my thought processes as to how I have chosen to work through what has become a battle that I would never have entered into previously. The first thing I did was play many different scenarios in my head. I then wrote a potential blog that I did not filter. I read and reread it many times. I then shared it with a couple of close friends.
My writing was emotional. My writing was angry. My writing wasn’t who I am, although it was how I was feeling. After I finished reading my words several times, I shredded the page. What did I gained from this exercise…I can now look at this situation with more clarity and less emotion.
Do not change who you are to accommodate others. Don’t allow a bad experience to alter how you handle sticky situations.
This bears repeating: Do not give your power to someone else. At the end of the day, we all need to look in the mirror and feel good about who we are, how we handle our behavior and who we strive to be.
My book, 12 Ways To Discover What Makes You Tick is filled with practical exercises and suggestions regarding growth through awareness of how and why we react the way we do.
You can buy the e-book version by clicking this link, http://amzn.to/1T2u4sr
or get a printed copy mid-summer when it is released.
Aren’t you worth investing a few dollars in order to make healthy changes that will ultimately give you the perspective needed to improve your interpersonal relationships? Lots to gain, little to lose!
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