elevating others

How Can I Become a More Positive Person?

If someone were to ask you whether you tend to fan the flames or calm the fire, what would you say? I am referring to arguments, discussions, or a difference of opinion.



Some people are great at defusing potential fights. Others are great at taking something relatively small and helping or causing it to become WWIII.

When you think about your interpersonal relationships, would the people in your life say, “YOU stir things up”? Or would they say, “YOU help calm the situation”?

Your tone of voice. Your physical stance. Your attitude says something about you. Do you talk behind a person’s back? Do you create an atmosphere of hostility? Or are you the one who tries to be a calming presence to those around you?

How well do you know yourself? How would you like others to see you?

I have recently been an unwilling participant in a situation that went from bad to worse. When I reflect on the scenario, I can now see how it was handled, but more importantly, how it could have been handled.

We can all do a better job of taking responsibility for our part when it comes to the work environment, our social encounters, and our personal relationships.

For me, I would like to be viewed as someone who elevates a situation, not someone who fans the flames and causes chaos and ill-will.

two kids handshake


Think about how you are seen, but more important think about how you would like to be seen.

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Elevating Others

I seem to be hearing more conversations like this. “That driver just flipped me off because I tapped the horn.  Would he have preferred I let him hit me?” Or, “I turned a corner at the market and didn’t see her, until she yelled at me about being rude.  I simply didn’t see her.”
Instead of focusing on the above, I have also been the recipient of some very nice words.  A family friend said my blogs have meaning for her.  She finds value in what I say.  My beautiful daughter-in-law called me yesterday just to say she was thinking about me and loves me.
While I was listening to some friends last night talk about the lack of respect and complete disregard for others I shared some of the nice conversations I had been exposed to.
inspiration, lifting others
The mood of the group changed.  We all went from telling annoying stories of people to positive ones.  We all went from complaining to complimenting.  The mood of the room went from a downhill spiral to a feeling of elevation.
Is your mood going up or down today?
My thoughts these past few weeks have been taken with the very thought of simple kindness, sharing positive thoughts, and complimenting others. 
Anger and aggression is contagious.  Just think of mob rule.  Equally as contagious is a smile and a laugh.  If you had a choice of whom you would want to spend time with?  A grumpy old….  Or a giggling baby…
Which would it be?
Which one are you?

Friends Don’t Let Friends

The other day, I was talking with a professional woman around my age.  I have never met her.  A mutual friend referred her to me.  This woman owns her own ad agency and she was consulting with me on a project I am working on.
The information I was given was extremely helpful and I was so grateful for her time and patience.  While we were talking, the subject of women supporting women came up.  Or, more precisely, women undermining women.  She told me that it saddens her to see and experience so much backstabbing amongst females as they climbed up corporate ladders or were just starting out in their fields.

There is no question that we live in a competitive world.  Women are especially challenged as they also go toe-to-toe with men, who for the most part have populated the professional marketplace for generations.

Jealously, competitiveness and fear are real and ever-present.  I know there are many women who are confidant, self-assured and generous in their support and encouragement towards other women.  I know this personally, as I have been extremely fortunate to have come in contact with many of them.
Remember someone who helped you, so that you could be successful.  Think about the opportunities you have to pay it forward.