This is a very interesting subject to me. We all hear about studies that are done regarding witnesses to an accident. If there were five eyewitnesses, there would be five different accounts of what happened.
I believe the reason for this is because we tend to bring so much to a situation. Pre-conceived ideas, past experiences, our own view of what is short or tall, slender or heavy. And, to top all that off, many of us make conclusions before hearing or seeing all of the facts.
It is no wonder that relationships become strained from communication issues. Many of us tend to hear what we want, that is of course, other than our own tone and judgment, and many times we are forming our defense and rebuttal long before the other person has explained themselves.
Why is this? Are we so anxious to “set the record straight”? Are we so impatient to be heard because we think we won’t remember the point we wanted to make?
I suppose there are many reasons. However, I believe most of us can do a much better job of being a better listener. Just because someone has an opinion and states it, doesn’t make it a fact. And, we really aren’t obligated to answer or defend anything we don’t want to.
My feeling is there would be less arguing and bad feelings if we spent more time working on ourselves and less time pointing out other people’s faults.
My feeling also is we might just get some insight into how we are seen by others if we tend to get the same kinds of feedback from many different sources.
So, what does this have to do with the eyewitnesses to an accident? Just that we are human, and our memories are convenient. Even so, we might learn and grow if we open ourselves up to the possibility that there is actually another viewpoint other than our own.
Do you agree?
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