Self-awareness

HOW IMPORTANT IS YOUR INNER-VOICE?

The first chapter in my book, 12 Ways To Discover What Makes You Tick, is called Listen To Your Inner-voice. I have decided to dedicate a blog to this subject for those who have not read my book, do not know what their inner-voice is or those who need to be reminded of the importance of their inner-voice.

roni-kugler_final_low-res-2

Everyone has an inner-voice, however; we all experience different clues when it comes down to it. For some it is a feeling that something seems wrong. For others our hearts may race a bit, our fingers may tingle, or we just might feel uncomfortable.   Still others have a hard time swallowing or their stomach may feel queasy. Some people use the term, “I feel it in my gut”, or “I have this nagging feeling”. Learn to pay attention to your body; it is an integral part of our senses as are sight, hearing and taste.

No matter what your personal signs are, it is NOT in your best interest to ignore them. When deciding on a job, an investment, a relationship or even buying a new car, listening to your inner-voice will give you the edge when making decisions.

For those who aren’t even sure what their inner-voice is, I suggest here and in my book to really pay attention to your body, not just your eyes and mind, when faced with a choice. Really feel what is going on with you. I once went car shopping with a friend and my first instinct was to buy a car that was too expensive, not practical and just a poor decision. My friend, knowing this was NOT the car for me (as she wasn’t emotionally vested) had to drag me out of the dealership with pen in hand, to take a long walk and grab some coffee.

dog in car

Bottom line: I DID NOT buy the car. Although I saw all the red flags at the time, I would have ignored them in the moment. Once I was able to get a clear picture with time and distance, I made a much better choice.

Although it took a friend to help me this time, going forward I have since learned over the years to be my own best advocate. I never bought a car again without using all my senses in making my decision.

As in my book, 12 Ways To Discover What Makes You Tick, I advise you to really pay attention to your personal inner-voice. This is easier than you think. Next time you are faced with a decision, no matter how small, take a moment or two to clear your mind and pay attention to your body. If you continue to be mindful of small clues going on inside you, you will be inclined to make better choices.

innervoice sign

If it turns out that you ignore your inner-voice and make a decision or two that you regret, don’t beat yourself up; learn from it. Wisdom isn’t achieved by NEVER making mistakes. Wisdom is attained when you learn from your mistakes.

Use this convenient link to buy it or go directly to Amazon to get your copy of my book:   http://amzn.to/1T2u4sr

Aren’t you worth investing a few dollars in order to make healthy changes that will ultimately give you the perspective needed to improve your interpersonal relationships? Lots to gain, little to lose!

For more inspirational thoughts and videos, please sign up at my website www.ronikugler.com. If you find value in my articles, please share them with your friends and family.

#innervoice, #decisionsmaking, #wisdom, #solvangusa

DO YOU HONOR YOUR WORD?

My dad was a man of many expressions. We have this in common. Lately I have been thinking of two that he frequently used. One was, “When Mike says something you can take it to the bank.” The other was, “When Ben shakes my hand I have to count my fingers.”

handshake-feature

When you tell someone they can count on you, can they? When you give your word that you will pay back a loan, do you, or do they have to chase you for repayment? When you offer to help someone work on a project, do you show up, or do they have to call you to remind you when to come over?   Do your friends eventually give up on you when they realize your word means nothing?

Some people have intentions to honor their words. Others seem to say what they think someone else wants to hear. And yet others find it easier to say yes now and make up excuses later. If you fall into these categories and you think other people are fooled, think again. It doesn’t take long for someone to learn who is trustworthy.

I believe there are many things we can’t control in our world. One of the things we can control is what comes out of our mouth. Unless someone is holding a gun to your head, you are responsible for your words.

WORDS.

Another expression I heard while growing up is, “If you can count on one hand the real friends you have you are lucky.” Decades later I still don’t understand why there are so few people that honor their word and commitments.

When you look at your friends do you know who will be there for you? When your friends look at you do they consider you trustworthy?

For me, I’d like to think my friends and family find me reliable. If I say I will be there, they know I will. We all have expectations regarding the definition of a good friend.   After all, not everyone has the same standards.

When it comes down to it, ‘our word is our bond’. Although this is an old-fashioned expression the meaning is contemporary, as you are assuring someone that your promise will be kept. Isn’t that, after all, what you would expect from others? In researching the top values most parents want to pass along to their children, commitment and belief in others are at the top of the list.

Father and son (8-10) holding hands, close-up

Children learn not from our words, but from our actions. Think about this the next time you make a promise. Integrity and honoring our commitments should be the standard, NOT the exception. What do you think?

Make 2017 the year to make positive changes by becoming someone that you respect and would choose for a friend!

Aren’t you worth investing a few dollars in order to make healthy changes that will ultimately give you the perspective needed to improve your interpersonal relationships? You have much to gain and little to lose!

For more inspirational thoughts and videos, please sign up at my website www.ronikugler.com. If you find value in my articles, please share them with your friends and family. #honoryourword, #solvangusa,#commitment,#12waystodiscoverwhatmakesyoutick.

Use this convenient link to buy my book, 12 Ways To Discover What Makes You Tick. http://amzn.to/1T2u4sr

Life Coach

Do you find yourself unable to move forward with your life simply because you can’t imagine how to crawl out from under the weight of your present situation?

A Life Coach may be your answer, not necessarily a therapist, attorney or financial adviser. The job of a life coach is to work with you while guiding you to understand and ultimately work through the challenges that prevent you from completing your immediate or long term goals.

My qualifications include the following:

  • I am a published author of the book, 12 Ways To Discover What Makes You Tick.
  • I have authored the instructional manual, How To Avoid Losing a Loved One Due To a Senseless Fight.
  • I have written over 150 inspirational blogs.
  • I have created 36 motivational You Tube Videos.
  • I have received glowing endorsements from psychiatrists and psychologists from major institutions.
  • I have counseled numerous clients with their interpersonal problems with an amazing success rate.
  • I work with young students as well as those in the third chapter of their lives.

IMG_0700 (1)

Please feel free to check out my website at Ronikugler.com. My book is available on Amazon.com

If you feel that your life can benefit from my services I can be reached at:

#growththroughawareness, #mindfulness, #nevergiveup, #Godhelpsthosewhohelpthemselves,#itisnevertoolatetoteacholddogsnewtrick. #eachchapterofyourlifecanbeyourbest.

 

NEVERGIVEUP

Roni Kugler

Roni12Ways@gmail.com

818-207-1511

Is It Good To See The World Through Rose-Colored Glasses?

Some people think it is unrealistic to see only the good. They regard people who do as naïve. What happens though, when the rose-colored glasses give an unrealistic view of a person or a scenario that leaves us making poor decisions and dealing with the disappointment of being misled? Studies, including Psychology Today, have shown that people who look for the good and the positive actually feel happier, are more productive and others want to be in their presence.

happy person

I have discussed this with numerous people, and unfortunately I have had personal experience in this area. We all have one thing in common: Because we are not manipulative people and we live up to our word, it is difficult to believe there are those who don’t. We are educated, mature and feel we make sound choices. And yet…when it comes to certain people we succumb to the adage, “There is a sucker born every minute.”

Long after removing ourselves from the situation and engaging with the other person, the common cry remains, “What were we thinking?” With distance and time it is very clear to see all the red flags and oncoming trains. Yet while we were living the situation, why was it impossible to achieve clarity? Like me, I trust that you had people in your life that advised you, warned you, and told you their concerns. Somehow though we defended and justified our actions.

RedFlags

It is my nature to take someone at his or her word. I don’t like having to stop and analyze, “What is this person’s motive?” So, how do I and those like me protect ourselves from falling into a similar trap?

I know I am now using all my senses. I look for actions, not just words. I feel with my heart and my gut, and think with my brain. I take things a bit more slowly. If we aren’t learning from our experiences and mistakes then we have only ourselves to blame.

So if you, like me and millions of others, see the world through rose-colored glasses, take them off once in awhile to thoroughly clean them. This will provide you the opportunity to see the world for all it is. The good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful.

Rose colored glasses

Share your thoughts; I would love to hear them.

My book 12 Ways To Discover What Makes You Tick, is filled with practical exercises and suggestions regarding growth through awareness of how and why we react the way we do.

Use this convenient link to buy it or go directly to Amazon to get your copy. http://amzn.to/1T2u4sr

Aren’t you worth investing a few dollars in order to make healthy changes that will ultimately give you the perspective needed to improve your interpersonal relationships? Lots to gain, little to lose!

For more inspirational thoughts and videos, please sign up at my website www.ronikugler.com. If you find value in my articles, please share them with your friends and family. I welcome all comments.

IS IT REALLY JUST LUCK?

I have been playing a relatively new sport called pickle ball. It has similar qualities to tennis, racket ball and Ping-Pong. I have joined a new group of people who, like me, have given up some of our more active sports to find this one that is less strenuous on the knees and back.

There is a very sweet lady that plays several times a week who always proclaims after a perfect over head shot to the corner of the court, “Oh that was just lucky.” I have a good friend who was recently offered a fabulous opportunity to write a technical book in the 6th decade of her life. Her constant mantra is, “How did I get so lucky?” Really? She has worked her butt off learning, teaching and gaining more knowledge in her field than almost everyone she knows. Luck? I don’t think so!

luck-shamrock-horseshoe

And then there is my grandson who has a beautiful three-point swish shot on the basketball court. I challenge anyone to call his shots lucky as he has been practicing his skills on the court at almost every opportunity throughout the past seven years.

Basketball

There is no question that it seems as if others get the “jump ball” while we struggle. I am not disputing that luck can be a factor in some circumstances. There are people who have connections that elude some of us. Sometimes it is simply being in the right place at the right time. However, there is no question that practicing, gaining knowledge and networking works its magic.

So why then do we call our hard work and opportunities luck? I worked for a wise man many decades ago who liked to say, “Luck is opportunity meeting preparedness.” Consider what this means.

A close friend has a daughter who has more talent than many singers who have been at it as long as she. Does she have frustrations? Are there times she feels life just isn’t fair? Absolutely! However, she continues to practice her craft and live her passion; she does not give up.

Are books flying off the shelves by writers with the same or less talent than mine? Definitely! Are there authors with more talent who can’t get a break? No question! The truth is that sometimes it isn’t logical why some people are successful and some are not. Who is to say what success means? We may have different definitions. For some, success can be the effort.

Books Flying Through the Sky

 

The key is to practice your craft and live your passion while finding joy in what you do. By all means, don’t compromise your dreams. Do the things that give you pleasure along with what is necessary to pay for your lifestyle.

Please don’t compare yourself to others. You are uniquely you. The next time you are tempted to say someone is lucky, think about how much time and work they have invested to be at the right place at the right time.

Now go take on the day!!!

My book, 12 Ways To Discover What Makes You Tick will help give you insights and understanding as to why you make the choices you do. Use this convenient link to buy it or go directly to Amazon to get your copy http://amzn.to/1T2u4sr

Aren’t you worth investing a few dollars in order to make healthy changes that will ultimately give you perspective? You have much to gain and little to lose!

For more inspirational thoughts and videos, please sign up at my website www.ronikugler.com. If you find value in my articles, please share them with your friends and family.   #self-respect, #kindness, #communication, #diversity #openness, #understandingothers,#Luck, #solvangusa.

DIVERSITY

When I was a young child and was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, my answer was an actress. When I hit puberty and was asked the same question, I said I wanted to go to New York and write. In my mid 20s I wanted to have a husband, a white picket fence and a bunch of kids. I went on to become a single working mom in the electronics industry. My life didn’t exactly go the way I dreamed it would, although I did go on to publish a book.

wizard-of-oz-original1

When I think about ALL of the various places my imagination has taken me throughout the decades, an UBER driver never entered my mind. (I do realize UBER is a recent phenomenon.) Life has a way of providing us with what we need when we need it. With all the negative politics, fears that our youth are entitled, and concerns that so much hate exists in the world, I now have a bird’s eye view of a larger scope. Consequently I feel a renewed faith in mankind.

The high school kids I pick up are polite, engaged and upbeat. There are college students who ride the Metro then hire an UBER in order to matriculate at their University. These young adults are intelligent and motivated. Entitled? I think not! I have driven exchange students from various countries. I learn so much from their ability to live with strangers in neighborhoods far from home. I have driven record producers, housekeepers, activists, fashion designers and vocational school attendees from all over the world.

earth copy

I was fortunate to be raised in a household that DID NOT judge people who were different. I was taught to look at character and values. My recent driving experiences have reinforced my parents’ beliefs: There are great qualities in people of every color, nationality and religion.

Hands holding hands

Perhaps if we stopped fearing what is unfamiliar and take the time to know people who are different, we might learn to open our hearts and our minds. Most human beings want the same things: A safe place to raise our children, security, opportunity and a support system. We have more in common than we have differences. If you want a kinder world, be kinder. If you want a world that doesn’t hate, don’t be a hater. Teach your children through positive examples.

The next generation deserves nothing less! Judge Judy says, “There is a reason you have two ears and one mouth.”

Think about this!

Make 2017 the year to make positive changes by not judging without merit.

My book, 12 Ways To Discover What Makes You Tick will help give you insights and understanding as to why you make the choices you do. Use this convenient link to buy it or go directly to Amazon to get your copy   http://amzn.to/1T2u4sr

Aren’t you worth investing a few dollars in order to make healthy changes that will ultimately give you perspective. You have much to gain and little to lose!

For more inspirational thoughts and videos, please sign up at my website www.ronikugler.com. If you find value in my articles, please share them with your friends and family.   #self-respect, #kindness, #communication, #diversity #openness, #understandingothers.

Our Inner Dialog: What Does It Really Say?

This morning I shared one of my recent inner dialogs with someone whom I really respect. It went something like this, “Geez Roni, what an idiot you were to have trusted that person. What were you thinking?”

inner_dialogue

My friend said, “Would you have said the same thing to your son or grandson had they confided in you that they made a similar mistake?” It didn’t take me long to say, “Of course not, although I may have added that was a bonehead thing to do.”

My friend then said if you were walking with a friend and she stubbed her toe, would you comfort her?” I replied, “Of course I would.” She continued, “If you stubbed your own toe, would you berate yourself for being careless or not wearing better shoes?” Sounded just about right to me.

Okay, so I am sure you get the analogy. I know I did. Our inner dialog lets us know how we are dealing with our lives and our decisions. Harsh words and negative thoughts ARE NOT OUR FRIENDS!

This journey we call life is comprised of choices. Some will be good, some not so good, and some will in fact be bonehead decisions. It is what we learn from each circumstance that will ultimately guide our future decisions. Will we be repeat offenders or wiser people?

behind bars

On a very long walk later in the day, I changed the dialog in my head to sound like this, “Okay, Roni, you can’t change the past. You can however give yourself a break by acknowledging that this wasn’t your finest moment. Know you have the ability to devise a back-up plan, comfort yourself with a “there-there”, then move forward.”

There are no magic pills that can guide us through all of life’s challenges. There are no magic words that can erase bad choices and decisions. Fortunately though, there is a new start everyday when we awaken. We have the ability to make a decision to walk in a direction that is more positive and that will ultimately help us feel better about ourselves.

wizard-of-oz-original1

When you change your thoughts from negative to positive, you improve your attitude and energy. So if you find yourself in a storm without an umbrella and rain gear, find a warm place to wait it out. Take a hot bath when you get home. And make a plan to keep the necessary equipment in your car to be better prepared the next time.

sunsets

And for God sakes, give yourself a break!

There is a chapter in my book, 12 Ways To Discover What Makes You Tick, titled Honor Yourself. Like all of the chapters I give examples and exercises to help my readers understand themselves better. I plan on reviewing it for myself.

Use this convenient link to buy it or go directly to Amazon to get your copy. http://amzn.to/1T2u4sr

Aren’t you worth investing a few dollars in order to make healthy changes that will ultimately give you the perspective needed to improve your interpersonal relationships? Lots to gain, little to lose!

For more inspirational thoughts and videos, please sign up at my website www.ronikugler.com. If you find value in my articles, please share them with your friends and family.

Bullies

There is a great deal of focus on kids who bully at school. There are many shows dedicated to educating parents and children about cyber bullying. Children are subjected to bullies on a regular basis. As adults and educators, we must be super sensitive to this, as young people often don’t know how to handle the situation when faced with a bully. What happens though when the bully is an adult? Unfortunately, people who feel entitled to boss and push their way through life come in both genders and all ages.

bullies

I have been with people who have exhibited short fuses when it comes to talking with sales or service people. I have listened to friends tell me they have been yelled at by other adults at friendly card games. I have experienced rage at places where I play sports. I see adult children talking to their parents in a manner that lacks respect.

What do all these people have in common? It is my opinion that volatile people really don’t know how to communicate their impatience, disappointment, expectations or anger. Consequently, they often resort to screaming and name calling as a means to make their point. Bullies of all ages tend to choose targets that are either smaller, younger, more passive or in a position where they are unable to defend themselves.

I personally find this behavior despicable. Harsh word? Yes. However adult bullying is even more unacceptable than kids on the playground since we have the capacity to weigh our words and temper our impulses…or at least we should by the time we have matured.

If you are bullied, ask yourself why you allow this to happen. If you are the bully, ask yourself why you feel entitled to push other people around with your words or actions. The expression, “Your right to swing your arm ends at my nose” applies to words as well. No one should use another person as a target for his or her personal lack of control when it comes to self-expression. Don’t give anyone permission to treat you with ire and unkindness. It doesn’t matter if the person is your boss, your friend, your children or your parents.

Men boxing. Two men boxing on the boxing ring

If you recognize yourself in either of the above scenarios, hold up a mirror and ask yourself why this is your method of expressing displeasure. If you are the recipient of someone using their anger to insult or rant at you, ask yourself why you don’t speak up for yourself.

Woman looking in to the mirror

In my book, “12 Ways To Discover What Makes You Tick”, I address Standing Up For Yourself. As in all of the chapters I provide you with relatable, practical exercises and stories. I guide my readers to first recognize their own behaviors, and then take the necessary steps to fine tune these behaviors thus becoming more empowered.

Whether you have watched your parents bully other people or you have experienced bullying, you are not destined to repeat these behaviors. I firmly believe you can teach an old dog new tricks. Take control of your life by taking control of your mouth and your actions.

new-old-dog

Make 2017 the year to make positive changes by becoming someone that you respect and would choose for a friend!

Use this convenient link to buy it or go directly to Amazon to get your copy of my book. http://amzn.to/1T2u4sr

Aren’t you worth investing a few dollars in order to make healthy changes that will ultimately give you the perspective needed to improve your interpersonal relationships? You have much to gain and little to lose!

For more inspirational thoughts and videos, please sign up at my website www.ronikugler.com. If you find value in my articles, please share them with your friends and family.  #self-respect, #kindness, #communication, #bullies, #interpersonalrelationships.

How Do We Deal With Loss?

therapy-loss

This past week several of my friends experienced loss. A good friend recently lost her husband; another is having a service for the father of her children; another is visiting the cemetery on the anniversary of her daughter’s passing, and yet another has lost her precious dog. If we are fortunate to live a long life, we will experience loss due to death. When it comes to mourning and dealing with loss, there is absolutely no formula, right or wrong way to cope with it.

For example, one of my friends does NOT want any communication for several days. Another is reaching out to her friends by sharing her sadness in writing. Another friend plans to take a hiatus to spend time away from her home.

kids-comfort

There is an expectation that loss of a loved one, family pet or marriage will cause varying degrees of tears, heartbreak, depression and loneliness. No one would expect less.

loss-of-pet

What happens though when the loss is subtle? This could be a move to another area, ending a toxic friendship or quitting a group that you have belonged to for a long period of time. Although these are not necessarily life altering, we still feel a sense of loss and sadness. Whether this pertains to a routine you had established or friends you had met, the end result is emptiness.

Although we all deal with disappointment, loss and change differently, my advice is to find balance. We all have the capacity to work through tough times. We all have the ability to make our lives better. For some this process requires small steps. Rely on your faith, your friends, a group, a book and your inner strength, as you don’t need to do this alone.

So, how do we deal with loss? We accept it, respect it, and ultimately find ways to live with it.

My book, 12 Ways To Discover What Makes You Tick is filled with practical exercises and suggestions regarding growth through awareness of how and why we react the way we do.roni-kugler_final_low-res-2

With the holidays upon us consider giving my book as a gift to friends, family, co-workers or those who can benefit from understanding themselves and therefore their actions. That’s pretty much everyone, don’t you agree?

Use this convenient link to buy it or go directly to Amazon to get your copy. http://amzn.to/1T2u4sr

Aren’t you worth investing a few dollars in order to make healthy changes that will ultimately give you the perspective needed to improve your #interpersonal relationships? Lots to gain, little to lose!

For more inspirational thoughts and videos, please sign up at my website www.ronikugler.com. If you find value in my articles, please share them with your friends and family.

 

#loss, #balance, #faith, #change, #whatmakesyoutick.

Do Your Friends and Family Feel Valued?

On a recent walk, a new friend approached the subject of my book. She had recently read it and offered some great suggestions regarding what she thought was an untapped audience for me.

horsetailpathweb

Later that evening while texting her, I told her that I appreciated her input. She wrote back to me and simply said, “Thank you for always making me feel acknowledged and important.”

Dog comforting cat

There is a commercial on TV where people with psoriasis (a skin disease) simply say, “See me.” It occurred to me that the simple act of being in tune and paying attention to others is so important. It is not enough to simply hear and value what they say, but more importantly to tell them how much we appreciate their views and opinions.

hand-to-ear-listening

When you talk with your children or grandchildren, are you paying attention with half an ear? Are you listening to them while texting a friend? When you were a child, did the adults in your life give you their full attention? Or were they watching a TV show or peering over a newspaper while you spoke? When you meet a friend to see a movie or shop are you ALWAYS checking your phone?

There have been so many studies researching what children really need from their parents. As it turns out, children don’t need more games or toys, but quality time spent with mom and dad. I don’t believe this pertains solely to kids. At all ages we want the people we spend time with to be in the moment with us.

Dr. Phil mentioned on a TV episode that he recently had lunch with a friend who was constantly checking his phone during their time together. After a short period of time, in total frustration, Dr. Phil stood up to leave. He told his friend that clearly the person on the phone was more important than he was. He finished by saying; “When you want to spend time with me, let me know.” And then he left.

couple-texting

The next time you are at a friend’s house put your phone in your purse or jacket. The next time you spend the day with your children or grandchildren refrain from texting your friends and encourage them to do the same. Truly, is there anything more important than paying attention to the people in your presence who have chosen to spend their time with you?

My book, 12 Ways To Discover What Makes You Tick is filled with practical exercises and suggestions regarding growth through awareness of how and why we react the way we do.

Use this convenient link to buy it or go directly to Amazon to get your copy. http://amzn.to/1T2u4sr

Aren’t you worth investing a few dollars in order to make healthy changes that will ultimately give you the perspective needed to improve your interpersonal relationships? Lots to gain, little to lose!

For more inspirational thoughts and videos, please sign up at my website www.ronikugler.com. If you find value in my articles, please share them with your friends and family.  #mindfulness, #appreciation, #gratitude, #kindness.