Mindfulness

How Do We Deal With Loss?

therapy-loss

This past week several of my friends experienced loss. A good friend recently lost her husband; another is having a service for the father of her children; another is visiting the cemetery on the anniversary of her daughter’s passing, and yet another has lost her precious dog. If we are fortunate to live a long life, we will experience loss due to death. When it comes to mourning and dealing with loss, there is absolutely no formula, right or wrong way to cope with it.

For example, one of my friends does NOT want any communication for several days. Another is reaching out to her friends by sharing her sadness in writing. Another friend plans to take a hiatus to spend time away from her home.

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There is an expectation that loss of a loved one, family pet or marriage will cause varying degrees of tears, heartbreak, depression and loneliness. No one would expect less.

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What happens though when the loss is subtle? This could be a move to another area, ending a toxic friendship or quitting a group that you have belonged to for a long period of time. Although these are not necessarily life altering, we still feel a sense of loss and sadness. Whether this pertains to a routine you had established or friends you had met, the end result is emptiness.

Although we all deal with disappointment, loss and change differently, my advice is to find balance. We all have the capacity to work through tough times. We all have the ability to make our lives better. For some this process requires small steps. Rely on your faith, your friends, a group, a book and your inner strength, as you don’t need to do this alone.

So, how do we deal with loss? We accept it, respect it, and ultimately find ways to live with it.

My book, 12 Ways To Discover What Makes You Tick is filled with practical exercises and suggestions regarding growth through awareness of how and why we react the way we do.roni-kugler_final_low-res-2

With the holidays upon us consider giving my book as a gift to friends, family, co-workers or those who can benefit from understanding themselves and therefore their actions. That’s pretty much everyone, don’t you agree?

Use this convenient link to buy it or go directly to Amazon to get your copy. http://amzn.to/1T2u4sr

Aren’t you worth investing a few dollars in order to make healthy changes that will ultimately give you the perspective needed to improve your #interpersonal relationships? Lots to gain, little to lose!

For more inspirational thoughts and videos, please sign up at my website www.ronikugler.com. If you find value in my articles, please share them with your friends and family.

 

#loss, #balance, #faith, #change, #whatmakesyoutick.

Do Your Friends and Family Feel Valued?

On a recent walk, a new friend approached the subject of my book. She had recently read it and offered some great suggestions regarding what she thought was an untapped audience for me.

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Later that evening while texting her, I told her that I appreciated her input. She wrote back to me and simply said, “Thank you for always making me feel acknowledged and important.”

Dog comforting cat

There is a commercial on TV where people with psoriasis (a skin disease) simply say, “See me.” It occurred to me that the simple act of being in tune and paying attention to others is so important. It is not enough to simply hear and value what they say, but more importantly to tell them how much we appreciate their views and opinions.

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When you talk with your children or grandchildren, are you paying attention with half an ear? Are you listening to them while texting a friend? When you were a child, did the adults in your life give you their full attention? Or were they watching a TV show or peering over a newspaper while you spoke? When you meet a friend to see a movie or shop are you ALWAYS checking your phone?

There have been so many studies researching what children really need from their parents. As it turns out, children don’t need more games or toys, but quality time spent with mom and dad. I don’t believe this pertains solely to kids. At all ages we want the people we spend time with to be in the moment with us.

Dr. Phil mentioned on a TV episode that he recently had lunch with a friend who was constantly checking his phone during their time together. After a short period of time, in total frustration, Dr. Phil stood up to leave. He told his friend that clearly the person on the phone was more important than he was. He finished by saying; “When you want to spend time with me, let me know.” And then he left.

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The next time you are at a friend’s house put your phone in your purse or jacket. The next time you spend the day with your children or grandchildren refrain from texting your friends and encourage them to do the same. Truly, is there anything more important than paying attention to the people in your presence who have chosen to spend their time with you?

My book, 12 Ways To Discover What Makes You Tick is filled with practical exercises and suggestions regarding growth through awareness of how and why we react the way we do.

Use this convenient link to buy it or go directly to Amazon to get your copy. http://amzn.to/1T2u4sr

Aren’t you worth investing a few dollars in order to make healthy changes that will ultimately give you the perspective needed to improve your interpersonal relationships? Lots to gain, little to lose!

For more inspirational thoughts and videos, please sign up at my website www.ronikugler.com. If you find value in my articles, please share them with your friends and family.  #mindfulness, #appreciation, #gratitude, #kindness.