Grief

How Do We Deal With Loss?

therapy-loss

This past week several of my friends experienced loss. A good friend recently lost her husband; another is having a service for the father of her children; another is visiting the cemetery on the anniversary of her daughter’s passing, and yet another has lost her precious dog. If we are fortunate to live a long life, we will experience loss due to death. When it comes to mourning and dealing with loss, there is absolutely no formula, right or wrong way to cope with it.

For example, one of my friends does NOT want any communication for several days. Another is reaching out to her friends by sharing her sadness in writing. Another friend plans to take a hiatus to spend time away from her home.

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There is an expectation that loss of a loved one, family pet or marriage will cause varying degrees of tears, heartbreak, depression and loneliness. No one would expect less.

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What happens though when the loss is subtle? This could be a move to another area, ending a toxic friendship or quitting a group that you have belonged to for a long period of time. Although these are not necessarily life altering, we still feel a sense of loss and sadness. Whether this pertains to a routine you had established or friends you had met, the end result is emptiness.

Although we all deal with disappointment, loss and change differently, my advice is to find balance. We all have the capacity to work through tough times. We all have the ability to make our lives better. For some this process requires small steps. Rely on your faith, your friends, a group, a book and your inner strength, as you don’t need to do this alone.

So, how do we deal with loss? We accept it, respect it, and ultimately find ways to live with it.

My book, 12 Ways To Discover What Makes You Tick is filled with practical exercises and suggestions regarding growth through awareness of how and why we react the way we do.roni-kugler_final_low-res-2

With the holidays upon us consider giving my book as a gift to friends, family, co-workers or those who can benefit from understanding themselves and therefore their actions. That’s pretty much everyone, don’t you agree?

Use this convenient link to buy it or go directly to Amazon to get your copy. http://amzn.to/1T2u4sr

Aren’t you worth investing a few dollars in order to make healthy changes that will ultimately give you the perspective needed to improve your #interpersonal relationships? Lots to gain, little to lose!

For more inspirational thoughts and videos, please sign up at my website www.ronikugler.com. If you find value in my articles, please share them with your friends and family.

 

#loss, #balance, #faith, #change, #whatmakesyoutick.

Why Would I Buy A Book About Me?

Life is a gift. It is fragile and it is short. Take the time to know yourself. We spend much of our early life in school learning to read, conquer math and study history.

We then learn a job, how to maintain our car, operate our electronic devices and various other tasks required to get along in our world.

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How much time do you take to really get to know yourself? To understand how you ‘tick’? Along with knowing yourself, how much time do you take to really understand others and learn how they ‘tick’? Perhaps if you make this an integral part of your life, you will learn from both your successes and your failures. You will become more aware, and understand why you repeat your mistakes without taking responsibility for some of your choices.

I have found that if you take time to really get to know yourself and the world in which you live, your life will be more fulfilling and give you the happiness and peace that you truly want and deserve.

For a small investment, my book, 12 Ways To Discover What Makes You Tick, could be just what you need to start the journey towards making decisions that you can feel good about.

Roni Kugler_final

Isn’t it time you invested in yourself?

Click this link to get your copy of the book that could have been named, Finally There Is A Book About Me!

http://amzn.to/1T2u4sr

As An Adult, What Advice Would You Give To The Child You Use To Be?

I found an interesting article in People Magazine this week where various movie stars and other famous people were asked what advice they would give their ‘younger’ self.

I found this interesting because most all of the people interviewed said, “Enjoy wherever you are in life, learn from your mistakes and don’t take yourself or what others say so seriously.”

I cannot stress enough about this journey called life. And it doesn’t really matter what age you are or where you are in your life. It will provide you with highs and lows. It will offer you chances and then take them away, and it will give you reason to laugh and to cry. You will, if you are lucky, feel and love so deeply that the loss and hurt will be painful.

Life should NOT be walked through; it should be approached with gusto, loud laughter and big old crocodile tears. Whatever age you are, take chances, open your heart, open your mind.

Look at your life as a gift. Treasure that gift. Always learn, always be kind, and always elevate those around you. Be the positive force in someone else’s life, but more importantly, be the positive force in your own life.

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Don’t wait until you are in a nursing home or not mobile, to think of all the things you wanted to do and didn’t. Get up everyday and, as they say, “Take it on”!

Your younger you!

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Why Do I Worry So Much?

These words stay in my mind. I wrote a blog last week and one of the comments I received was, ‘lighten up’. Of all the comments I have heard over the past two years, this one made me really smile.

Perhaps many of us are guilty of taking life too seriously. Perhaps we spend more time making mountains out of molehills. Now, I get that many deal with real challenges. Life and death situations.

However, more often than not, too many of us manage to take the smallest of things and stress and over obsess about them.

Here are some personal examples. When running late to work I would go over in my mind all the excuses I would give. I would then play the part of my boss and think of what I would say when he confronted me at the door. I believe in a career that spanned 30 years, I NEVER had to use any of my lame excuses, and I WAS NEVER confronted at the door by a boss with arms folded and a stern look. I did however, start out the day stressed and worried.

I have worried about African Bees, Lyme disease, drive-by shootings, various epidemics (yes, Ebola comes to mind), and many other small and large catastrophes that are out there.

It seems so human to spend time worrying. And for most of us, we will live to a ripe old age having managed to miss most of the things that are our worst fears.

So, why do we do this? Why do we make ourselves sick with worry over getting hit by lightening? I don’t have the answer because there isn’t just one answer.

Lighting Up the Sky

So I have decided for now, this very day, I shall take the sage advice given to me last week and I will let my mantra be to just ‘lighten up’. I will save my energy for when I am actually faced with a challenge, so that I am able to deal with it and NOT be drained from worrying about something that has not happened and probably won’t.

Sage Advice

What do you think?

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The Choices We Make

This morning I watched Whitney Houston’s mother give an interview.  It has been one year since her daughter died.  Cissy Houston has written a book and she is now marketing it.
I expected that during the interview questions regarding drug use would be asked.  After all, it was the reason Whitney lost her life.  What I didn’t expect was the lack of blame that Mrs. Houston could have thrown at Bobby Brown, and the entertainment world in general.
She did make a point of saying that her daughter’s husband didn’t help her.  Her opinion was that he wasn’t good for her.  However, she was very clear that her daughter ultimately made her own decisions.
We can tell our kids to wear helmets.  We can encourage our kids to get an education.  We can guide our kids to stay away from substances that are harmful to them.  We can lecture, share and talk until we are literally blue in the face.
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But the bottom line is that our children will make their own choices.  We live in a world where temptations are all around.  We live in a world where our choices and decisions will determine the life we live.
I guess all we really can do is be the best example we can.  Teach by our actions as well as our words.  Then love them, keep our fingers crossed and then let our children go out into the world and make their own way.
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For more inspirational thoughts and videos, please sign up at my website www.ronikugler.com. If you find value in my articles, please share them with your friends and family. I welcome all comments.