fears

Standing Up For Yourself

In my book, 12 Ways To Discover What Makes You Tick”, there is a chapter called Standing Up For Yourself. Many in my circle have suggested that I re-read it, along with a couple of other chapters and several of my blogs, namely Listen To Your Inner Voice and Honor Yourself.

During the past year or so I have been faced with challenges that have contributed to my feeling like a victim. Victims can be victimized over-and-over simply by not taking a stand. Years after being bullied, taken advantage of, manipulated or scammed, is it difficult to move on because you did not take measures to stand up for yourself?

day in court

There are many avenues available that can help empower us to get past the injustices. First, acknowledge that victims have a right to be heard. Next, formulate a plan and follow through. Depending on the circumstances, this could be to contact the person and tell them how they made you feel, or write a letter and either mail it or throw it away. Many times merely putting the words on paper is good enough.

Photo of the Constitution of the United States of America. A feather quill is included in the photo.The Constitution of the United States is the supreme law of the United States of America and is the oldest codified written national constitution still in force. It was completed on September 17, 1787.

There are times however when you will want to seek more extreme measures. This could involve presenting your case in court. I have always been a fan of the saying, “All evil needs to exist is for good men to do nothing”. Don’t make excuses thinking, “this is just too hard” or “perhaps a judgment won’t go my way”. No matter the outcome, sometimes it is good enough to simply have your day in court.

john-oliver-dogs

Life is a series of experiences. There are ups and downs and curve balls thrown our way. We are all faced with them. It isn’t a matter of “if”, but a matter of “when.” The difference between those people who let life get them down and those who get up and persevere is how they handle whatever is put in their path.

Standing up for yourself is your right. Don’t question it or doubt yourself. Accept that bullies can only exist if they are allowed to continue to torment their victims!

In My book, 12 Ways To Discover What Makes You Tick I address several of the subjects I discuss in this blog. Use this convenient link to buy it or go directly to Amazon to get your copy of my book: http://amzn.to/1T2u4sr

Aren’t you worth investing a few dollars in order to make healthy changes that will ultimately give you the perspective needed to improve your interpersonal relationships? Lots to gain, little to lose!

For more inspirational thoughts and videos, please sign up at my website www.ronikugler.com. If you find value in my articles, please share them with your friends and family.#standupforyourself, “bullies,#honoryourself, #solvangusa

DIVERSITY

When I was a young child and was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, my answer was an actress. When I hit puberty and was asked the same question, I said I wanted to go to New York and write. In my mid 20s I wanted to have a husband, a white picket fence and a bunch of kids. I went on to become a single working mom in the electronics industry. My life didn’t exactly go the way I dreamed it would, although I did go on to publish a book.

wizard-of-oz-original1

When I think about ALL of the various places my imagination has taken me throughout the decades, an UBER driver never entered my mind. (I do realize UBER is a recent phenomenon.) Life has a way of providing us with what we need when we need it. With all the negative politics, fears that our youth are entitled, and concerns that so much hate exists in the world, I now have a bird’s eye view of a larger scope. Consequently I feel a renewed faith in mankind.

The high school kids I pick up are polite, engaged and upbeat. There are college students who ride the Metro then hire an UBER in order to matriculate at their University. These young adults are intelligent and motivated. Entitled? I think not! I have driven exchange students from various countries. I learn so much from their ability to live with strangers in neighborhoods far from home. I have driven record producers, housekeepers, activists, fashion designers and vocational school attendees from all over the world.

earth copy

I was fortunate to be raised in a household that DID NOT judge people who were different. I was taught to look at character and values. My recent driving experiences have reinforced my parents’ beliefs: There are great qualities in people of every color, nationality and religion.

Hands holding hands

Perhaps if we stopped fearing what is unfamiliar and take the time to know people who are different, we might learn to open our hearts and our minds. Most human beings want the same things: A safe place to raise our children, security, opportunity and a support system. We have more in common than we have differences. If you want a kinder world, be kinder. If you want a world that doesn’t hate, don’t be a hater. Teach your children through positive examples.

The next generation deserves nothing less! Judge Judy says, “There is a reason you have two ears and one mouth.”

Think about this!

Make 2017 the year to make positive changes by not judging without merit.

My book, 12 Ways To Discover What Makes You Tick will help give you insights and understanding as to why you make the choices you do. Use this convenient link to buy it or go directly to Amazon to get your copy   http://amzn.to/1T2u4sr

Aren’t you worth investing a few dollars in order to make healthy changes that will ultimately give you perspective. You have much to gain and little to lose!

For more inspirational thoughts and videos, please sign up at my website www.ronikugler.com. If you find value in my articles, please share them with your friends and family.   #self-respect, #kindness, #communication, #diversity #openness, #understandingothers.

How Do We Deal With Loss?

therapy-loss

This past week several of my friends experienced loss. A good friend recently lost her husband; another is having a service for the father of her children; another is visiting the cemetery on the anniversary of her daughter’s passing, and yet another has lost her precious dog. If we are fortunate to live a long life, we will experience loss due to death. When it comes to mourning and dealing with loss, there is absolutely no formula, right or wrong way to cope with it.

For example, one of my friends does NOT want any communication for several days. Another is reaching out to her friends by sharing her sadness in writing. Another friend plans to take a hiatus to spend time away from her home.

kids-comfort

There is an expectation that loss of a loved one, family pet or marriage will cause varying degrees of tears, heartbreak, depression and loneliness. No one would expect less.

loss-of-pet

What happens though when the loss is subtle? This could be a move to another area, ending a toxic friendship or quitting a group that you have belonged to for a long period of time. Although these are not necessarily life altering, we still feel a sense of loss and sadness. Whether this pertains to a routine you had established or friends you had met, the end result is emptiness.

Although we all deal with disappointment, loss and change differently, my advice is to find balance. We all have the capacity to work through tough times. We all have the ability to make our lives better. For some this process requires small steps. Rely on your faith, your friends, a group, a book and your inner strength, as you don’t need to do this alone.

So, how do we deal with loss? We accept it, respect it, and ultimately find ways to live with it.

My book, 12 Ways To Discover What Makes You Tick is filled with practical exercises and suggestions regarding growth through awareness of how and why we react the way we do.roni-kugler_final_low-res-2

With the holidays upon us consider giving my book as a gift to friends, family, co-workers or those who can benefit from understanding themselves and therefore their actions. That’s pretty much everyone, don’t you agree?

Use this convenient link to buy it or go directly to Amazon to get your copy. http://amzn.to/1T2u4sr

Aren’t you worth investing a few dollars in order to make healthy changes that will ultimately give you the perspective needed to improve your #interpersonal relationships? Lots to gain, little to lose!

For more inspirational thoughts and videos, please sign up at my website www.ronikugler.com. If you find value in my articles, please share them with your friends and family.

 

#loss, #balance, #faith, #change, #whatmakesyoutick.

Have you ever asked yourself What Comes Next?

When a marriage fails. When a job doesn’t work out. When a friendship ends how do you cope with the loss and disappointment? Is a box of See’s candy and a carton of milk your go to? (Ok, so that would be mine).

Deflated-MEME-Sadness-Inside-Out

In these situations, we tend to react with uncertainty and fear. I believe many of us spend too much energy over-thinking the possible reasons why things didn’t go right. We focus on trying to figure out whose fault it was, or we beat ourselves up for not succeeding.

Perhaps we should look at the above scenarios and asked ourselves, What Comes Next? This will change our focus from loss and failure to a more positive state of mind. It steers us away from someone or something we can no longer change or affect and enables us to begin the seed-planting process of considering a new course of action.

Humans feel. We get frustrated. We cry. We also dust ourselves off and get back in the game. Most of us are survivors.

So the very next time you are faced with a roadblock or a changeable situation, ask yourself, “What’s next for me?” Then develop a plan. Sleep on your dilemma; talk it over with a family member, a close friend, or your spouse. There is no need to act in a rash manner. I strongly believe that when one door closes, another door opens. Instead of passively waiting for that to happen, set new goals and go knock on the right doors.

knock-on-doors

It feels good to actually have a say in the direction that your life is going. Don’t you agree?

My book 12 Ways To Discover What Makes you Tick is currently available in e-book form on Amazon.com. Just click on the click to upload. http://amzn.to/1T2u4sr

Roni Kugler_final

I am excited to share that the printed version will be available at the beginning of the summer. Details to follow!

For more inspirational thoughts and videos, please sign up at my website www.ronikugler.com. If you find value in my articles, please share them with your friends and family. I welcome all comments.

How Do You Measure Success?

Two weeks ago I published my first book. Since then I received many emails and texts congratulating me on this accomplishment.

We all measure success differently. Some people look at their salary as a measure of success. Other people look at the title on their business cards. Still others, the fancy cars they drive, how many flat screen TVs they have or how many trips they take.

illustration-of-a-measuring-scale-Stock-Illustration-balance

I understand that we are a society that is materialistic and our value system is tied into money and toys.

I received two emails recently that mean the most to me. One is from a long time friend who wrote, “Congratulations. While good friends and family can help you, it was your belief in yourself and the initiative to attain this goal that made it happen”. And my nephew wrote, “Hearty congratulations! That is quite an accomplishment! Not many people write anything and publish it”.

I have had conversations with friends who only want to know how many books I have sold. To them it appears that success is simply associated with numbers.

Numbers

When you think of your own life, how do you measure your success? Is it being a good parent or loving son or daughter? Is it by the good deeds you do? Or living up to your commitments?

Perhaps if people measure success by attaining their passions or being a good friend they would find more satisfaction and happiness. I know for me, my success comes from giving 101% to the book I started several years ago and knowing that I did good work.

cat hugging dog

Please follow me on my website, Roni.kugler.com for more inspirational blogs and videos.

My book 12 Ways To Discover What Makes You Tick is now available on Amazon. Com. Just click on the link below to get your electronic version.

http://amzn.to/1T2u4sr

A paperback version will be available at the end of September.

How Important Is Hope?

I have been nicknamed a Pollyanna my whole life.   According to Webster, a Pollyanna is a person characterized by irrepressible optimism and a tendency to find good in everything. It defines me to a tee.

For many like myself, it is used to describe a person who finds only the good in people and the good in all circumstances.

My friend of almost 20 years was telling me about a situation where someone she knew did some pretty insane things. I listened and then said one thing positive in her friend’s defense. My friend looked at me and said, “Man, you can find a flower in a field of weeds.” Okay, so I took creative liberties here. She probably said that I could find a flower in a pile of shit.

flower

I have to admit that she made me laugh and she made me think. Thinking and overthinking is what I do best. Reflection to me is the key to understanding ourselves and therefore making the changes needed to make better choices.

In trying to understand why I tend to give people and situations the benefit of the doubt, the word hope keeps popping into my head. I hope that people will be kinder. I hope that people will do the right thing. I hope that our children and their children will do better and be better.

A world without hope is a very sad place. Some may consider me naive. Others may consider me a sucker or gullible. The truth is that I would rather be scammed and taken advantage of by a person or two than to be guarded and suspicious of everyone I meet.

Perhaps by living in my world, those people will learn a little something from me then go on to find the good in others. At least this is what I hope.

sharing_(1)-405x355

Click on the link below to get a copy of my book “12 Way To Discover What Makes You Tick”, available now on Amazon.com.

I not only hope you find value in it, I know you will!

http://amzn.to/1T2u4sr

What Does Your Inner Voice Say?

When I watched my latest video for the first time, my critical self yelled the following:

  • You Look Too Stiff
  • Your voice doesn’t have enough emotion
  • You don’t look your best
  • This video sucks!

I called the marketing guy who shot my video and told him how I felt. His response was, “Roni, you are waaaaaay too critical”. He went on to say that people will be looking at my sincerity and hearing my message. They wouldn’t be judging my hands, my hairstyle, or whether I smiled enough.

It took me a couple of weeks before I watched this video again. I did feel good about my message even though I still don’t like how I look and sound.

Although originally I decided not to post the video, my inner voice screamed, “Adjusted your expectations!”. My decision was to not be my own worst critic (as most of us are). I suggest you do that with all your decisions. Consider that your first choice might not be your best choice. Keep an open-mind, take a step back, and weigh all the positives and negatives before you choose your course of action.

Respect your inner voice; it is there for a reason.

Why Would I Buy A Book About Me?

Life is a gift. It is fragile and it is short. Take the time to know yourself. We spend much of our early life in school learning to read, conquer math and study history.

We then learn a job, how to maintain our car, operate our electronic devices and various other tasks required to get along in our world.

manual

How much time do you take to really get to know yourself? To understand how you ‘tick’? Along with knowing yourself, how much time do you take to really understand others and learn how they ‘tick’? Perhaps if you make this an integral part of your life, you will learn from both your successes and your failures. You will become more aware, and understand why you repeat your mistakes without taking responsibility for some of your choices.

I have found that if you take time to really get to know yourself and the world in which you live, your life will be more fulfilling and give you the happiness and peace that you truly want and deserve.

For a small investment, my book, 12 Ways To Discover What Makes You Tick, could be just what you need to start the journey towards making decisions that you can feel good about.

Roni Kugler_final

Isn’t it time you invested in yourself?

Click this link to get your copy of the book that could have been named, Finally There Is A Book About Me!

http://amzn.to/1T2u4sr

Is There Really A Cosmic Plan?

I love this quote from Michael Josephson who is an inspirational speaker among his many other accomplishments. He borrowed the quote from Dr. Seuss, “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened”.

seuss-quote-cat-hat1

It is really difficult to smile and be happy when a relationship ends, a family pet dies or close friends move away. It is, however, easy to feel only sadness, disappointment and loss.

I firmly believe that people come into our lives for a reason. And not all of these relationships are meant to be with us forever. This doesn’t mean that the time together should be looked at as a failure. A good introspective question would be, “Am I better off having had this experience?” Or, “Even if things ended badly, did good things happen from the time together?”

I try to be pragmatic when faced with breakups, displacement, and change. Some may say, “I am not emotional enough” or “it’s easy for me to just walk away”. I, however, don’t see it quite that way. I believe that I feel deeply. I mourn, I cry and I question. What I don’t do is hold on. Yes, that’s right, I move on. After all if we didn’t experience and accept change, we would all be living in the house we where we born.

President Franklin Roosevelt said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” People say that life is a journey, yet too many are afraid of actually making the necessary changes to really live a full life.

Are you one of the many who are afraid to make a career change? Do you stay in a toxic relationship because you are afraid of being alone? When your family pet passes are you so afraid of having another broken heart that you don’t want to love another pet?”

Year-after-year if you find your life is not where you want it to be; if you wake up each morning and wonder why you are where you are; if you are more unhappy than happy on a balance scale, then WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?????

rainbow_question_marks_cap

Whether you believe there is a cosmic plan or a random plan, don’t sit around wishing for a different life. Figure out what you need to do to make changes. We are on this earth for a limited amount of time.

Fortune teller reads her crystal ball. AdultsalertAlertnessaloneanticipateanticipatingAnticipationawareawarenessCaucasianclearColor photographyCommunicationsconcentrateconcentratingConcentrationcontemplatingcontemplationCrystal ballsdiscoveringDiscoveryenigmaenigmaticexpectancyexpectationFateFemalesforebodingfortune tellerFortunetellersFortunetellingFutureGipsiesGipsyGypsiesGypsyHuman cultureinfoInformationMagicmagicalmenacingmysteriesmysteriousMysteryOminousone personPeoplepersonPhotographyplanPlanningponderingProphecypropheticpropheticalPsychic readingsRomRomaRomaniRomanysearchSearchingsee-throughseekseekingShapessinistersorcerySuperstitionsuperstitioussuperstitiousnesstelling fortunesThinkingthoughtTransparentunknownWhiteswitchcraftwomanWomen

Isn’t it time for you to take more control over your own destiny? Need to get a jump-start? Want to understand why you stay stuck? Need a little help in learning more about yourself and your decision making? Then you need my book, 12 Ways To Discover What Makes You Tick which is available for pre-order on Amazon.

Simply click on the link below to order your copy. Give yourself a gift. I guarantee it will be the best $8.95 you have spent in a long time!

http://amzn.to/1T2u4sr 

For more inspirational thoughts and videos, please sign up at my website www.ronikugler.com. If you find value in my articles, please share them with your friends and family. I welcome all comments.

Now take on the day!