Inspiration

Life Coach

Do you find yourself unable to move forward with your life simply because you can’t imagine how to crawl out from under the weight of your present situation?

illustration-of-a-measuring-scale-Stock-Illustration-balance

A Life Coach may be your answer, not necessarily a therapist, attorney or financial adviser. The job of a life coach is to work with you while guiding you to understand and ultimately work through the challenges that prevent you from completing your immediate or long term goals.

My qualifications include the following:

Roni Kugler_final

  • I am a published author of the book, 12 Ways To Discover What Makes You Tick.
  • I have authored the instructional manual, How To Avoid Losing a Loved One Due To a Senseless Fight.
  • I have written over 150 inspirational blogs.
  • I have created 36 motivational You Tube Videos.
  • I have received glowing endorsements from psychiatrists and psychologists from major institutions.
  • I have counseled numerous clients with their interpersonal problems with an amazing success rate.
  • I work with young students as well as those in the third chapter of their lives.

Please feel free to check out my website at Ronikugler.com. My book is available on Amazon.com

If you feel that your life can benefit from my services I can be reached at:

Roni Kugler

Roni12Ways@gmail.com

818-207-1511

Collective Voices

I have always admired people who take a stand when they have been victimized. I have always wondered why so many people speak up ONLY after a group has paved the way. On some level I understand the fear of not being believed. There is no question that fighting an institution or system is (at best) time consuming and frustrating. Whether it is the church, gymnastic coaches, or powerful people in positions of authority, it is NOT OKAY to manipulate, threaten, or blackball simply because you can.

big dog. vs. little dog

Taking this a step further, what about the ordinary person who has been scammed? What about the spouse whose partner cashed in the insurance policies to gamble? What about the friend who borrowed money? These people should also be called out and held accountable for their actions.

There was a time in our history when people who committed crimes wore a sign around their necks for everyone to see. Public shaming was part of letting others know not to be fooled by these people. There was a famous deli in New York in the 50’s that many movie stars frequented. These stars felt they were above paying for their bill. After the owner tried countless times to collect his money, he chose to put a sign in the window with the names and amounts owed for everyone to see. It did NOT take long for these accounts to be paid off.

Public Shaming

Why is it commonplace for victims to keep the names of their tormentors a secret? Why aren’t we using social media and word of mouth so others are NOT put in the same position? People who molest children or rape women have histories of repeat offenses. Perhaps if more people spoke up sooner and louder, others would be saved similar fates.

stand-up-for-yourself.1

Personally, I think we all need to be good stewards of our friends, family, neighbors and society in general. Let’s stop passively allowing others to continue victimizing simply because it could be unpleasant to take the necessary steps to expose their behavior. I am a firm believer that all evil needs to prevail is for good men and women to do nothing!

In My book, 12 Ways To Discover What Makes You Tick I address several of the subjects I discuss in this blog. Use this convenient link to buy it or go directly to Amazon to get your copy of my book: http://amzn.to/1T2u4sr

Aren’t you worth investing a few dollars in order to make healthy changes that will ultimately give you the perspective needed to improve your interpersonal relationships? Lots to gain, little to lose!

For more inspirational thoughts and videos, please sign up at my website www.ronikugler.com. If you find value in my articles, please share them with your friends and family.#standupforyourself, “bullies,#honoryourself, #takeastand, #collectivevoices,#solvangusa,#faceyourfears.

DO YOU HONOR YOUR WORD?

My dad was a man of many expressions. We have this in common. Lately I have been thinking of two that he frequently used. One was, “When Mike says something you can take it to the bank.” The other was, “When Ben shakes my hand I have to count my fingers.”

handshake-feature

When you tell someone they can count on you, can they? When you give your word that you will pay back a loan, do you, or do they have to chase you for repayment? When you offer to help someone work on a project, do you show up, or do they have to call you to remind you when to come over?   Do your friends eventually give up on you when they realize your word means nothing?

Some people have intentions to honor their words. Others seem to say what they think someone else wants to hear. And yet others find it easier to say yes now and make up excuses later. If you fall into these categories and you think other people are fooled, think again. It doesn’t take long for someone to learn who is trustworthy.

I believe there are many things we can’t control in our world. One of the things we can control is what comes out of our mouth. Unless someone is holding a gun to your head, you are responsible for your words.

WORDS.

Another expression I heard while growing up is, “If you can count on one hand the real friends you have you are lucky.” Decades later I still don’t understand why there are so few people that honor their word and commitments.

When you look at your friends do you know who will be there for you? When your friends look at you do they consider you trustworthy?

For me, I’d like to think my friends and family find me reliable. If I say I will be there, they know I will. We all have expectations regarding the definition of a good friend.   After all, not everyone has the same standards.

When it comes down to it, ‘our word is our bond’. Although this is an old-fashioned expression the meaning is contemporary, as you are assuring someone that your promise will be kept. Isn’t that, after all, what you would expect from others? In researching the top values most parents want to pass along to their children, commitment and belief in others are at the top of the list.

Father and son (8-10) holding hands, close-up

Children learn not from our words, but from our actions. Think about this the next time you make a promise. Integrity and honoring our commitments should be the standard, NOT the exception. What do you think?

Make 2017 the year to make positive changes by becoming someone that you respect and would choose for a friend!

Aren’t you worth investing a few dollars in order to make healthy changes that will ultimately give you the perspective needed to improve your interpersonal relationships? You have much to gain and little to lose!

For more inspirational thoughts and videos, please sign up at my website www.ronikugler.com. If you find value in my articles, please share them with your friends and family. #honoryourword, #solvangusa,#commitment,#12waystodiscoverwhatmakesyoutick.

Use this convenient link to buy my book, 12 Ways To Discover What Makes You Tick. http://amzn.to/1T2u4sr

Life Coach

Do you find yourself unable to move forward with your life simply because you can’t imagine how to crawl out from under the weight of your present situation?

A Life Coach may be your answer, not necessarily a therapist, attorney or financial adviser. The job of a life coach is to work with you while guiding you to understand and ultimately work through the challenges that prevent you from completing your immediate or long term goals.

My qualifications include the following:

  • I am a published author of the book, 12 Ways To Discover What Makes You Tick.
  • I have authored the instructional manual, How To Avoid Losing a Loved One Due To a Senseless Fight.
  • I have written over 150 inspirational blogs.
  • I have created 36 motivational You Tube Videos.
  • I have received glowing endorsements from psychiatrists and psychologists from major institutions.
  • I have counseled numerous clients with their interpersonal problems with an amazing success rate.
  • I work with young students as well as those in the third chapter of their lives.

IMG_0700 (1)

Please feel free to check out my website at Ronikugler.com. My book is available on Amazon.com

If you feel that your life can benefit from my services I can be reached at:

#growththroughawareness, #mindfulness, #nevergiveup, #Godhelpsthosewhohelpthemselves,#itisnevertoolatetoteacholddogsnewtrick. #eachchapterofyourlifecanbeyourbest.

 

NEVERGIVEUP

Roni Kugler

Roni12Ways@gmail.com

818-207-1511

12 Ways To Discover What Makes You Tick

My book has been reviewed by one of the larger on-line sites.  Here it is!  Have you purchased your copy yet?  It is available on Amazon.Com.

Official Review: 12 Ways To Discover What Makes You Tick

Post Number:#1 by Tanaya » Yesterday, 13:29

Book Cover


3 out of 4 stars


Review by Tanaya


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12 Ways to Discover What Makes You Tick is a self-help book by Roni L. Kugler.

The author was raised in the 1950’s by a father with a militaristic parenting style and a mother who felt powerless. Through examples from her own life, Kugler helps us to learn both from her mistakes and her successes in life. She challenges readers to pay attention to their bodies, thoughts, and feelings: a lesson she learned after ignoring the nervousness she felt when getting married young. She cautions us to observe how we make decisions, to listen to our inner voice, to do what’s in our best interest, and to become more comfortable with who we are. She shares her struggles with depression, sleep problems, sexual abuse, divorce, stress, and troubled relationships. Her focus is less on these issues and more so on her reaction to them, as she shares practical advice that helped her to overcome them. Kugler explains how she took control of her life and how we can do the same, with steps to get there. The book includes good principles for having a healthy relationship with oneself and with others.

Going along with the title, the book includes twelve main chapters, such as “Listen to Your Inner Voice,” “Don’t Make Decisions Based on Fear,” and “Look for Your Blessings.” The chapters are brief, typically ranging from 6-10 pages long. Most of the chapters begin with the author speaking of a personal experience. Then she poses questions to the reader, such as: “Has there been a time in your life, or many times, when you didn’t stand up for yourself? Are you facing this now?” This is a means to transition into a series of exercises for self-reflection. For the most part, these exercises instruct the reader to create lists. Sometimes these lists can be done right then and there. One of the long-term exercises is a practical guide to self-forgiveness in which you write why you think you can’t forgive yourself, pick one reason per day, and decide how you can overcome it.

One of the things I liked most about the book is the author’s attitude, which can best be highlighted with this quote: “It was not my fault that I was molested as a child. It was, however, my responsibility and need as an adult to do everything I could to face and conquer this demon.” She’s very open, with a concise writing style. One can tell that she has spent a lot of time working on herself. Her questions and exercises are very direct. She instructs the reader to create a list of people he or she admires and then asks: “Did you list yourself? If not, why not? Why don’t you feel as if your opinions and thoughts are as important as someone else’s?” She makes great observations and suggestions. One gem includes why adults don’t play in the sandbox with their kids. Parents can have fun, too. Another great suggestion is to record and play back your voice to get used to hearing it.

The book isn’t totally original. There is some generic self-help advice, like chasing after your dreams and appreciating the small things. It’s not that this isn’t good advice, but she didn’t add anything new to these common notions. I was also slightly confused by her views about not doing something out of fear. Earlier in the book, she teaches that we should listen to our bodies, such as if we’re nervous. If we’re nervous, then that should be a factor in our decisions. It could be a signal not to do something. Later, she seems to change gears by condemning making decisions based on fear. I would suggest drawing a connection and making a distinction between the lessons found in chapter 1 and chapter 4 to clear up this confusion.

I rate this book 3 out of 4 stars. It is filled with a lifetime’s worth of wisdom. I took off a star because it’s not totally original. Some chapters were too short and generic. They would have benefitted from her elaborating appropriately on her personal life. I also experienced a major point of confusion between two chapters. Besides that, just from reading the book, you can tell Kugler is a strong woman who has been through her share of troubles in life and has emerged victorious. She shares her life for the sake of helping others, and the book is a noble endeavor. I would recommend this book to anyone who may be struggling and wants to take action. This is the kind of book where you’ll get as much out of it as you are willing to put into it.

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12 Ways To Discover What Makes You Tick
View: on Bookshelves

Is It Good To See The World Through Rose-Colored Glasses?

Some people think it is unrealistic to see only the good. They regard people who do as naïve. What happens though, when the rose-colored glasses give an unrealistic view of a person or a scenario that leaves us making poor decisions and dealing with the disappointment of being misled? Studies, including Psychology Today, have shown that people who look for the good and the positive actually feel happier, are more productive and others want to be in their presence.

happy person

I have discussed this with numerous people, and unfortunately I have had personal experience in this area. We all have one thing in common: Because we are not manipulative people and we live up to our word, it is difficult to believe there are those who don’t. We are educated, mature and feel we make sound choices. And yet…when it comes to certain people we succumb to the adage, “There is a sucker born every minute.”

Long after removing ourselves from the situation and engaging with the other person, the common cry remains, “What were we thinking?” With distance and time it is very clear to see all the red flags and oncoming trains. Yet while we were living the situation, why was it impossible to achieve clarity? Like me, I trust that you had people in your life that advised you, warned you, and told you their concerns. Somehow though we defended and justified our actions.

RedFlags

It is my nature to take someone at his or her word. I don’t like having to stop and analyze, “What is this person’s motive?” So, how do I and those like me protect ourselves from falling into a similar trap?

I know I am now using all my senses. I look for actions, not just words. I feel with my heart and my gut, and think with my brain. I take things a bit more slowly. If we aren’t learning from our experiences and mistakes then we have only ourselves to blame.

So if you, like me and millions of others, see the world through rose-colored glasses, take them off once in awhile to thoroughly clean them. This will provide you the opportunity to see the world for all it is. The good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful.

Rose colored glasses

Share your thoughts; I would love to hear them.

My book 12 Ways To Discover What Makes You Tick, is filled with practical exercises and suggestions regarding growth through awareness of how and why we react the way we do.

Use this convenient link to buy it or go directly to Amazon to get your copy. http://amzn.to/1T2u4sr

Aren’t you worth investing a few dollars in order to make healthy changes that will ultimately give you the perspective needed to improve your interpersonal relationships? Lots to gain, little to lose!

For more inspirational thoughts and videos, please sign up at my website www.ronikugler.com. If you find value in my articles, please share them with your friends and family. I welcome all comments.

IS IT REALLY JUST LUCK?

I have been playing a relatively new sport called pickle ball. It has similar qualities to tennis, racket ball and Ping-Pong. I have joined a new group of people who, like me, have given up some of our more active sports to find this one that is less strenuous on the knees and back.

There is a very sweet lady that plays several times a week who always proclaims after a perfect over head shot to the corner of the court, “Oh that was just lucky.” I have a good friend who was recently offered a fabulous opportunity to write a technical book in the 6th decade of her life. Her constant mantra is, “How did I get so lucky?” Really? She has worked her butt off learning, teaching and gaining more knowledge in her field than almost everyone she knows. Luck? I don’t think so!

luck-shamrock-horseshoe

And then there is my grandson who has a beautiful three-point swish shot on the basketball court. I challenge anyone to call his shots lucky as he has been practicing his skills on the court at almost every opportunity throughout the past seven years.

Basketball

There is no question that it seems as if others get the “jump ball” while we struggle. I am not disputing that luck can be a factor in some circumstances. There are people who have connections that elude some of us. Sometimes it is simply being in the right place at the right time. However, there is no question that practicing, gaining knowledge and networking works its magic.

So why then do we call our hard work and opportunities luck? I worked for a wise man many decades ago who liked to say, “Luck is opportunity meeting preparedness.” Consider what this means.

A close friend has a daughter who has more talent than many singers who have been at it as long as she. Does she have frustrations? Are there times she feels life just isn’t fair? Absolutely! However, she continues to practice her craft and live her passion; she does not give up.

Are books flying off the shelves by writers with the same or less talent than mine? Definitely! Are there authors with more talent who can’t get a break? No question! The truth is that sometimes it isn’t logical why some people are successful and some are not. Who is to say what success means? We may have different definitions. For some, success can be the effort.

Books Flying Through the Sky

 

The key is to practice your craft and live your passion while finding joy in what you do. By all means, don’t compromise your dreams. Do the things that give you pleasure along with what is necessary to pay for your lifestyle.

Please don’t compare yourself to others. You are uniquely you. The next time you are tempted to say someone is lucky, think about how much time and work they have invested to be at the right place at the right time.

Now go take on the day!!!

My book, 12 Ways To Discover What Makes You Tick will help give you insights and understanding as to why you make the choices you do. Use this convenient link to buy it or go directly to Amazon to get your copy http://amzn.to/1T2u4sr

Aren’t you worth investing a few dollars in order to make healthy changes that will ultimately give you perspective? You have much to gain and little to lose!

For more inspirational thoughts and videos, please sign up at my website www.ronikugler.com. If you find value in my articles, please share them with your friends and family.   #self-respect, #kindness, #communication, #diversity #openness, #understandingothers,#Luck, #solvangusa.

Bullies

There is a great deal of focus on kids who bully at school. There are many shows dedicated to educating parents and children about cyber bullying. Children are subjected to bullies on a regular basis. As adults and educators, we must be super sensitive to this, as young people often don’t know how to handle the situation when faced with a bully. What happens though when the bully is an adult? Unfortunately, people who feel entitled to boss and push their way through life come in both genders and all ages.

bullies

I have been with people who have exhibited short fuses when it comes to talking with sales or service people. I have listened to friends tell me they have been yelled at by other adults at friendly card games. I have experienced rage at places where I play sports. I see adult children talking to their parents in a manner that lacks respect.

What do all these people have in common? It is my opinion that volatile people really don’t know how to communicate their impatience, disappointment, expectations or anger. Consequently, they often resort to screaming and name calling as a means to make their point. Bullies of all ages tend to choose targets that are either smaller, younger, more passive or in a position where they are unable to defend themselves.

I personally find this behavior despicable. Harsh word? Yes. However adult bullying is even more unacceptable than kids on the playground since we have the capacity to weigh our words and temper our impulses…or at least we should by the time we have matured.

If you are bullied, ask yourself why you allow this to happen. If you are the bully, ask yourself why you feel entitled to push other people around with your words or actions. The expression, “Your right to swing your arm ends at my nose” applies to words as well. No one should use another person as a target for his or her personal lack of control when it comes to self-expression. Don’t give anyone permission to treat you with ire and unkindness. It doesn’t matter if the person is your boss, your friend, your children or your parents.

Men boxing. Two men boxing on the boxing ring

If you recognize yourself in either of the above scenarios, hold up a mirror and ask yourself why this is your method of expressing displeasure. If you are the recipient of someone using their anger to insult or rant at you, ask yourself why you don’t speak up for yourself.

Woman looking in to the mirror

In my book, “12 Ways To Discover What Makes You Tick”, I address Standing Up For Yourself. As in all of the chapters I provide you with relatable, practical exercises and stories. I guide my readers to first recognize their own behaviors, and then take the necessary steps to fine tune these behaviors thus becoming more empowered.

Whether you have watched your parents bully other people or you have experienced bullying, you are not destined to repeat these behaviors. I firmly believe you can teach an old dog new tricks. Take control of your life by taking control of your mouth and your actions.

new-old-dog

Make 2017 the year to make positive changes by becoming someone that you respect and would choose for a friend!

Use this convenient link to buy it or go directly to Amazon to get your copy of my book. http://amzn.to/1T2u4sr

Aren’t you worth investing a few dollars in order to make healthy changes that will ultimately give you the perspective needed to improve your interpersonal relationships? You have much to gain and little to lose!

For more inspirational thoughts and videos, please sign up at my website www.ronikugler.com. If you find value in my articles, please share them with your friends and family.  #self-respect, #kindness, #communication, #bullies, #interpersonalrelationships.

How Do We Deal With Loss?

therapy-loss

This past week several of my friends experienced loss. A good friend recently lost her husband; another is having a service for the father of her children; another is visiting the cemetery on the anniversary of her daughter’s passing, and yet another has lost her precious dog. If we are fortunate to live a long life, we will experience loss due to death. When it comes to mourning and dealing with loss, there is absolutely no formula, right or wrong way to cope with it.

For example, one of my friends does NOT want any communication for several days. Another is reaching out to her friends by sharing her sadness in writing. Another friend plans to take a hiatus to spend time away from her home.

kids-comfort

There is an expectation that loss of a loved one, family pet or marriage will cause varying degrees of tears, heartbreak, depression and loneliness. No one would expect less.

loss-of-pet

What happens though when the loss is subtle? This could be a move to another area, ending a toxic friendship or quitting a group that you have belonged to for a long period of time. Although these are not necessarily life altering, we still feel a sense of loss and sadness. Whether this pertains to a routine you had established or friends you had met, the end result is emptiness.

Although we all deal with disappointment, loss and change differently, my advice is to find balance. We all have the capacity to work through tough times. We all have the ability to make our lives better. For some this process requires small steps. Rely on your faith, your friends, a group, a book and your inner strength, as you don’t need to do this alone.

So, how do we deal with loss? We accept it, respect it, and ultimately find ways to live with it.

My book, 12 Ways To Discover What Makes You Tick is filled with practical exercises and suggestions regarding growth through awareness of how and why we react the way we do.roni-kugler_final_low-res-2

With the holidays upon us consider giving my book as a gift to friends, family, co-workers or those who can benefit from understanding themselves and therefore their actions. That’s pretty much everyone, don’t you agree?

Use this convenient link to buy it or go directly to Amazon to get your copy. http://amzn.to/1T2u4sr

Aren’t you worth investing a few dollars in order to make healthy changes that will ultimately give you the perspective needed to improve your #interpersonal relationships? Lots to gain, little to lose!

For more inspirational thoughts and videos, please sign up at my website www.ronikugler.com. If you find value in my articles, please share them with your friends and family.

 

#loss, #balance, #faith, #change, #whatmakesyoutick.

Why Is It So Hard?

We all have pet peeves. My biggest one is when I hear someone say they aren’t doing something that they really want to, because it is too hard. Why is hard the criteria for finishing school, changing careers, leaving a bad marriage, losing weight, exercising more and so on?

When my son was in the third grade and whined to me that math was too hard, I am pretty sure I encouraged him to study more. I know for a fact I didn’t say, “Hey no problem, just quit.” When my grandson first started playing basketball and found it difficult to run and dribble the ball at the same time, instead of quitting he made the choice to practice until he mastered it. Why? Because it was really important to him to play.

after-fourth

Personally, if I used ‘this is too hard” as a gauge, I would be writing this blog by pen. It was NOT easy to learn how to use an IBM typewriter (look it up) in high school. I would also still be using a rotary phone, or at least a flip phone. Also, I know for a fact that I would still be adjusting the rabbit ears (Google it) on my TV instead of mastering several remote controls to navigate my DVR and stream channels.

The reality: Life is hard. We must work for most of the things we truly value. I am sure the first time you learned to ski; play tennis; bowl; ride a bike or drive, it was hard. Did that really stop you from moving forward?

woman-snow-skiing-pv

Perhaps we need to utilize a different criteria when deciding how to live our lives. Take the word “hard” out of the equation. Try saying, “This isn’t what I want.” Or, “This isn’t worth my time.” Or, “This isn’t something I value.” Chances are these sentiments do not define your feelings. We really do want to achieve the task. We just believe it to be too hard. Perhaps if we said, “Even though this is hard, I want it so I will work for it.” Or, “Even though this is hard, it is worth my time.” Or, “Even though this is hard, because I value it, I will work and study.”

Those who realize their dreams and goals are willing to put in the time. My sister-in-law spent a year working on a yoga pose called Crow or Wheel. She did the pose in class for the first time when I was visiting her. I was so happy to be there to see her smile as the entire class applauded her achievement. There is NO question, it was hard. Another friend made a choice to live a healthier lifestyle. She changed her diet and joined a gym. Easy? I doubt it. Worth it? You should see how great she looks and how good she feels.

crow-pose

Don’t see things that are hard as deal breakers. See seem as a challenge that you can overcome. Sometimes you will be successful, sometimes you won’t. Truly, how will you know if you don’t even try? After all, isn’t that what we tell our children?

My book, 12 Ways To Discover What Makes You Tick is filled with practical exercises and suggestions regarding growth through awareness of how and why we react the way we do.

Use this convenient link to buy it or go directly to Amazon to get your copy. http://amzn.to/1T2u4sr

Aren’t you worth investing a few dollars in order to make healthy changes that will ultimately give you the perspective needed to improve your interpersonal relationships? Lots to gain, little to lose!

For more inspirational thoughts and videos, please sign up at my website www.ronikugler.com. If you find value in my articles, please share them with your friends and family.