This morning I shared one of my recent inner dialogs with someone whom I really respect. It went something like this, “Geez Roni, what an idiot you were to have trusted that person. What were you thinking?”
My friend said, “Would you have said the same thing to your son or grandson had they confided in you that they made a similar mistake?” It didn’t take me long to say, “Of course not, although I may have added that was a bonehead thing to do.”
My friend then said if you were walking with a friend and she stubbed her toe, would you comfort her?” I replied, “Of course I would.” She continued, “If you stubbed your own toe, would you berate yourself for being careless or not wearing better shoes?” Sounded just about right to me.
Okay, so I am sure you get the analogy. I know I did. Our inner dialog lets us know how we are dealing with our lives and our decisions. Harsh words and negative thoughts ARE NOT OUR FRIENDS!
This journey we call life is comprised of choices. Some will be good, some not so good, and some will in fact be bonehead decisions. It is what we learn from each circumstance that will ultimately guide our future decisions. Will we be repeat offenders or wiser people?
On a very long walk later in the day, I changed the dialog in my head to sound like this, “Okay, Roni, you can’t change the past. You can however give yourself a break by acknowledging that this wasn’t your finest moment. Know you have the ability to devise a back-up plan, comfort yourself with a “there-there”, then move forward.”
There are no magic pills that can guide us through all of life’s challenges. There are no magic words that can erase bad choices and decisions. Fortunately though, there is a new start everyday when we awaken. We have the ability to make a decision to walk in a direction that is more positive and that will ultimately help us feel better about ourselves.
When you change your thoughts from negative to positive, you improve your attitude and energy. So if you find yourself in a storm without an umbrella and rain gear, find a warm place to wait it out. Take a hot bath when you get home. And make a plan to keep the necessary equipment in your car to be better prepared the next time.
And for God sakes, give yourself a break!
There is a chapter in my book, 12 Ways To Discover What Makes You Tick, titled Honor Yourself. Like all of the chapters I give examples and exercises to help my readers understand themselves better. I plan on reviewing it for myself.
Use this convenient link to buy it or go directly to Amazon to get your copy. http://amzn.to/1T2u4sr
Aren’t you worth investing a few dollars in order to make healthy changes that will ultimately give you the perspective needed to improve your interpersonal relationships? Lots to gain, little to lose!
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