There is a great deal of focus on kids who bully at school. There are many shows dedicated to educating parents and children about cyber bullying. Children are subjected to bullies on a regular basis. As adults and educators, we must be super sensitive to this, as young people often don’t know how to handle the situation when faced with a bully. What happens though when the bully is an adult? Unfortunately, people who feel entitled to boss and push their way through life come in both genders and all ages.
I have been with people who have exhibited short fuses when it comes to talking with sales or service people. I have listened to friends tell me they have been yelled at by other adults at friendly card games. I have experienced rage at places where I play sports. I see adult children talking to their parents in a manner that lacks respect.
What do all these people have in common? It is my opinion that volatile people really don’t know how to communicate their impatience, disappointment, expectations or anger. Consequently, they often resort to screaming and name calling as a means to make their point. Bullies of all ages tend to choose targets that are either smaller, younger, more passive or in a position where they are unable to defend themselves.
I personally find this behavior despicable. Harsh word? Yes. However adult bullying is even more unacceptable than kids on the playground since we have the capacity to weigh our words and temper our impulses…or at least we should by the time we have matured.
If you are bullied, ask yourself why you allow this to happen. If you are the bully, ask yourself why you feel entitled to push other people around with your words or actions. The expression, “Your right to swing your arm ends at my nose” applies to words as well. No one should use another person as a target for his or her personal lack of control when it comes to self-expression. Don’t give anyone permission to treat you with ire and unkindness. It doesn’t matter if the person is your boss, your friend, your children or your parents.
If you recognize yourself in either of the above scenarios, hold up a mirror and ask yourself why this is your method of expressing displeasure. If you are the recipient of someone using their anger to insult or rant at you, ask yourself why you don’t speak up for yourself.
In my book, “12 Ways To Discover What Makes You Tick”, I address Standing Up For Yourself. As in all of the chapters I provide you with relatable, practical exercises and stories. I guide my readers to first recognize their own behaviors, and then take the necessary steps to fine tune these behaviors thus becoming more empowered.
Whether you have watched your parents bully other people or you have experienced bullying, you are not destined to repeat these behaviors. I firmly believe you can teach an old dog new tricks. Take control of your life by taking control of your mouth and your actions.
Make 2017 the year to make positive changes by becoming someone that you respect and would choose for a friend!
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Aren’t you worth investing a few dollars in order to make healthy changes that will ultimately give you the perspective needed to improve your interpersonal relationships? You have much to gain and little to lose!
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